I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
