I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
