I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
