so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
