Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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