he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
