they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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