well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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