ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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