I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
