i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
