When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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