what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
