I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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