Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
