he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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