Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
