The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
