Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
