butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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