STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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