How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
