2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
