he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
