Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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