Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
