I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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