so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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