are you still at the devil's house?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
