the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
