I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
