I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
