this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
