so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she pinky promised me she was 18
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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