yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
