70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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