i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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