I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
