you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
