You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
