It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
