actually, I'm a sock model
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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