its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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