Whod you bang
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
