His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
