I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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