My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
