Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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