Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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