Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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