Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
there is glitter all over my balls
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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